The people closest to me know I have a temper (and all the reasons why), and more importantly, that I’ve struggled as a parent to eliminate this aspect of my life from my parenting. While I’ve come far in better maintaining my control and managing my quick-to-anger temperament, there’s still more I can do in order to live up to my personal goals toward peaceful parenting.
So, it’s probably not a surprise that I’ve read “10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling at My Kids” at least half a dozen times. The anonymous author and creator of the Orange Rhino blog has inspired me to take her Challenge.
Today was Day 1. No yelling, no irritated voice, no snappish or cutting remarks. When I saw chores being left undone, I used “I need” or “we need” statements only. A good start.
I need to do this to improve my relationship with my daughter and support her emotional health, I need to practice this with my teen so I don’t make the same mistakes with my infant as he grows into toddlerhood, and I need to this for me, because I’ve stayed up nights, sleepless with guilt for recent or past instances in which I lost my temper and was the cause of my beloved child’s tears … I should be the comfort not the cause.
There are reasons for my temper, but they’re my monsters to fight, not my children’s, and blessedly, we all have a lot of support now that wasn’t there in my daughter’s early childhood.